Springtime. The sun is shining longer (hopefully), the weather’s getting warmer (hopefully) and we are emerging from the long dark winter (hopefully) which means no signs of snow, though I simultaneously call Chicago and northeastern Poland home, so who knows, we get more snow for Easter these days than Christmas– but I digress.
Parentheticals aside, while springtime means awakening from my seasonal depression, nothing gets that going more than the Eurovision Song Contest. This year, thanks to TikTok and a new friend who’s obsessed with ESC and actually follows all of the preliminary country selections (shout out to my PL bestie Kacper), I feel like I’ve had the opportunity to get more into it. I will not claim to be a ESC expert, however, I do have a ton of fun giving my unsolicited two cents.
As I did last year, here are some of my standouts, honorable mentions, and takes of all other contestants based on a quick YouTube viewing of the available music videos.
My Faves:
AUSTRIA
“Who the hell is Edgar?” You could argue that this is 2023’s version of “Give That Wolf A Banana” with its zany premise but I find that Taye & Salena makes this work far better. It’s just the right amount of quirky and upbeat, something that will make it standout from the ballads of the contest. It balances humor and elements of dramatic flair well and I’m interested in seeing how this is staged for the live performances. This would be a fun, albeit it surprising, top winner, but I would be shocked if it didn’t at least make top ten.
CZECHIA
Y’all already know that it is the symbolism of this song and the underlying political themes that get me going. Add the Slavic sisterhood that sings strong in my heart and we have ourselves a winner in my eyes. The song combines four languages, Czech, English, Ukranian and Bulgarian, but “My Sister’s Crown is connects all people who experience oppression, whether from society, trends, technology. It is art, aesthetic, traditional yet modern: it’s a statement. This is everything that “My Słowanie“ should have been back in 2014. I am VERY intrigued to see how the live staging of this goes, as a lot of folks on social are saying that they’re not sold on how the awesomeness of the music video will translate to the stage. I doubt this would be the Top Winner, but I hope it makes top ten!
ESTONIA
I really like Alika’s voice. She is only 20 years old but her performance is so mature and powerful. I wish this song had more hype behind it– it’s literally one of the best songs this year and I feel like folks are sleeping on it. And the staging from the National Performance I saw with the ghost piano was really cool.
ITALY
I’m a sucker for Marco Mengoni. After BLANCO basically butchered (am I wrong?) last year’s duet with Mahmood, Mengoni seems like a warm hug. I wish I could be annoyed that Italy is sending over another ballad, but truthfully, Italy does ballads extremely well. Marco is no exception, putting his all into a super emotional interpretation. This is his second ESC rodeo, so I have a feeling he’ll do well. I’m hoping for top 5!
NORWAY
Is anyone surprised that this is one of my standouts? Strong female anthems is something that we are big fans of in the house of Ola. The song itself is a tad repetitive, but regardless, I will willingly march in Alessandra’s conquering legions. I feel ready to kick ass (potentially in a viking-like helmet). This battle cry of a song is an undeniable bop and she’s got a phenomenal live performance already under her belt. I think the only thing that may work against her is the fact that the song has been viral in some TikTok circles for quite some time (I think the first I heard it was back in January).
Honorable mentions:
CROATIA
I had to go and watch the most recent live performance of this batsh!t crazy number after the quick recap video because I was so intrigued. I’m here for the dictator diss track and honestly, a LOT of Poles love this entry (admittedly, mostly because of their hate for Blanka). I mean how could you not love a song that starts off with “Mama kupiła traktora?”
FRANCE
Yes. 100%. She is the moment. I am putting this on my “Who Run The World” playlist. Last year’s “Fulenn” was ROBBED so justice for France! Hell of an entry. If her stage presence is anything like that in the music video, I cannot wait to see a live performance of this. It’s easily top ten in my book.
MOLDOVA
ANOTHER SLAV SLAY. A pagan Slav slay at that. I admittedly don’t know too much about Moldova, but it seems like an authentic and ethnic bop. This is giving me both Shum and Kalush vibes (it’s gotta be that flute that they all seem to incorporate). I will be very pleased if this makes it past the semi’s.
SPAIN
Ok, this Blanca’s voice is incredible. I feel like we’re about to summon some kind of Spanish witchcraft with this hypnotic song. It’s traditional music but in a modern package; truly one of my favorite tropes of the ESC.
Reactions to the Rest from the Official Roundup/Recap
Albania: With all of the ~drama~ I could easily see this being the theme song of a telenovela. Like Day of Our Lives but make it Albanian. That being said, I weirdly find it comforting and while I’m not Balkan, I’m easily swayed by its music. It’s those Slavic ties, kochani.
Armenia: “I just wanna make art, read books and just find someone who likes me enough to kiss my face.” Girl, same. I don’t hate this song, but I also don’t absolutely love it. I think the artist has strong vocals, but the lyrics honestly feel a bit whiny and the sharp changes in music style throw me off.
Australia: Ok, I’m still a bit new to ESC, but why are they in the contest? Is it the old colonial British Empire relic kind of thing? Regardless, the song has potential, I think it’s really gonna depend on the staging and their energy. Also was not anticipating that (personally, I found it unnecessary) screamo/metal moment.
Azerbaijan: I’m getting Beatles/Blink-182 mash-up for some odd reason. While decent, I would be shocked to see them make the final.
Belgium: I’m here for the lyrics and the overall vibe. I would not be surprised to see a “lip sync for your life” in any global iteration of Drag Race. I could see it playing at clubs in Boystown.
Cyprus: This song is 100% playing after a dramatic moment on Love Island UK. Most likely at the firepit. Otherwise, kind of forgettable.
Denmark: Are the Danes hiding the fountain of youth? How is this man almost 26 years old? It’s a cute entry, but I think it relies HEAVILY on the robot/auto-tune. While I don’t think it’ll do too well in the contest itself, however, like last year’s “Snap,” I have a feeling it’ll do well commercially.
Finland: Where do I even being with “Cha Cha Cha?” It’s quintessential Eurovision and while I don’t think I initially understood it, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t enjoy it after a couple of listens. I’m anticipating high votes from the public. I’m here for the hype and we’re all in for an incredible live performance during the final.
Georgia: Not my vibe and I don’t really understand the lyrics.
Germany: I’m sorry, but nein on “Blood and Glitter.” Admittedly though, it’s because I was never a real metal fan. .
Greece: Admittedly meh of a song but the artist has potential, I like his voice.
Iceland: A strong message, but personally I think it’s forgettable.
Ireland: U2 2.0. I said what I said. However, with that in mind, it does have some hints of generational nostalgia that makes it an inspirational listen.
Israel: TikTok seems to love this one, but I can’t. It feels like three separate songs in one. Also same as Australia; why is Israel here?
Latvia: The music video in the roundup compilation was giving me cult vibes. The live performance and staging was a nice suprise. I’m not quite sure why, but it’s giving me 30 Seconds to Mars vibes. It’s honestly a quality song, but I don’t see it making the finals unfortunately if it relies solely on popular vote.
Lithuania: The artist has an incredible voice and I appreciate the thoughtful addition of “Čiūto tūto,” which I’ve learned is a meditative sound Lithuanians used to sing in while standing/dancing in ritual circles. As always, I feel like Lithuania is criminally underrated.
Malta: It’s funky and the lead singer is a cutie. It’s in a tough initial bracket though, so I will be intrigued to see if it will dance its way into the final.
Netherlands: Powerful lyrics. Highly underrated. I think it’ll make the finals, but not crack top ten.
Poland: Oj kochani. There is so much to say about the sh!tshow that was Poland’s selection. The public voted for Jann’s “Gladiator,“ I wanted Dominik Dudek to go through (not a revolutionary song but I really connected with the lyrics as of late), but TVP had other plans and went with Blanka. Generally, I can’t say I was wowed with any finalist, and it’s annoying because as a country we actually have some pretty excellent artists, but they’re either super established and don’t care about something like ESC or knowing that the selections are through government-backed TVP, many don’t care for that given Poland’s current right-winged political climate. I don’t necessarily agree with all of the online vitriol Queen #Bejbah is getting, the song itself is catchy (albeit basic). We could do so much better, though.
Portugal: A fun cabaret-inspired moment.
Romania: Based on the recap video, we seem to have located Beetlejuice’s missing pants. Also don’t really understand the background dancers.
San Marino: Eh.
Serbia: After last year’s masterpiece that was Konstrakta’s “In corpore sano,“ I gotta say this is a let down and also kind of gives me the creeps.
Slovenia: A fun little bop. The lead vocalist is charismatic and charming, and overall the band looks like they’re having fun during their live performance.
Sweden: The Internet’s basically decided she’s the winner for this year’s edition. I’m not saying she doesn’t deserve to win, because let’s be clear: she’s hella talented as a performer (that and I don’t want to be stabbed by those Wolverine nails she had). The song is powerful and she owns the stage without any background dancers or vocals. But it just feels like a 2012 deja vu moment. Watch it, compare, and tell me if I’m wrong.
Switzerland: Such a mature voice. The dynamic ballad carries an anti-war message and I have a feeling the sentiment of the ongoing situation in Europe will carry it into the final.
Ukraine: A fresh and unpredictable song from Ukraine, given how much it normally leans into its folk traditions. I know as last year’s winning country, this will make it to the final, but curious to see where it lands in rankings.
United Kingdom: Dua Lipa vibes. It’s definitely a summer bop!
Ola Wysocki 